We had gone through so much together and I’d given him so much support. Yet it’s as if I didn’t give enough. Or perhaps I didn’t support him in the right way? Did he think I didn’t care? Did he not care about me like I thought he did? - Faye, whose husband died
I wonder about when and how the dominoes had started to fall down and what actions might have stopped setting them into motion. I turn over in my mind what would have happened if we hadn’t moved house, if I hadn’t left my job, if we hadn’t gone on holiday two months before she died, if I had given her more attention, or more space, said more, said less… - Roger, whose wife died
The day she died the police took away some of her things from beside her bed and I remember thinking, “No, I want everything of hers, I don’t want you to take anything”. But they were really careful and we got it all back. - Amy, whose mother died
Our grief was so immense that we just switched into auto-pilot to get through all the formalities. We had it explained to us what needed to happen, and we just got on with getting through the funeral and inquest. They were almost trivial compared to dealing with the way we felt. I have good family and a few fantastic friends who did any of the immediate things, and we only got involved in decisions when we needed to. - Doug, whose son died
I have to walk where he died ten to fifteen times a day. That brings with it mixed feelings. Most days, it means I am in and around the places where we enjoyed happy times together so it brings back positive memories. Other days I find it difficult, especially when it’s coming up to an anniversary or his birthday and all I want is for him to be here with me. - Lotte, whose brother died
Seeing my story laid out in black and white, his face smiling out at me from the pages of the magazine, was heartbreaking. But then, the messages started to flow in from readers who had read our story and who had suddenly realised they were not alone in this. - Angela, whose partner died
At the time of my brother’s death I was only ten years old. I had never experienced loss, and suicide was certainly not something I was aware of. Straight away I was looking for someone to blame, looking for a reason why my big brother would have made that decision. I was confused, lost and lonely. The one person I wanted to talk to had been taken away. - Matthew, whose brother died
I felt I had to stay strong to support the rest of my family, especially my heart- broken son, my grandchildren and great grandchildren. But I also had my own pain to deal with as she had been like a daughter to me for 45 years. - Joan, whose daughter-in-law died
When he was five, my youngest son’s questions changed from “why did Daddy die?” to “how did Daddy die?”. As he played with this cars on the floor, I cried into the sink of dishes I was washing and I started to tell him the truth. When he turned 18, he thanked me for telling him the truth about his father’s suicide. He said he now realised how difficult it must have been, but if I hadn’t told him the truth, he would have lost his relationships with both parents that night. - Angela, whose partner died
‘If you’d have told me weeks before that this would happen, I would have been fairly certain that I would have been unable to cope, that my own death would have been the only solution to unbearable grief. But it didn’t turn out that way. It is an exhausting, painful and long process, but it is possible to enjoy life again. Slowly we have found we have survived and the sun has come back into our lives.’ - Dick, whose son died
Who we are
The Support After Suicide Partnership (SAS) is the UK’s national hub for organisations and individuals working across the UK to support people who have been bereaved or affected by suicide.
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You are not alone. There are people available to help; who will accept how you are feeling and recognise the difficulties you are facing. There are also organisations that can give you some support in the practical issues that arise.
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